the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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