you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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