he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
