I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
