when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
