I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize