He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
