He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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