I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
