The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
