Sry I called you an 8
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I touched a dick in church today
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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