My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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