i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
