This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
