Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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