Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I cockslap morals
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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