I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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