Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She is in my trunk
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I love you.
Bad choice
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