Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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