I think i peed on brittanys purse
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
