And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
