At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
