I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
