This girl is more easily done than said...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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