I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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