nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
