i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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