He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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