I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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