So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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