dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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