The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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