Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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