Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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