think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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