Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Where is the hickey?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
