I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize