They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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