I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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