you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
