I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
