Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Four minutes until I can fart!
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
