Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
