Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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