I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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