Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
