I am in a vortex of obligation.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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