i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
There are leaves in my underwear?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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