She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
