i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
