my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
