i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Mom said you looked used
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
