Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
