i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
