day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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