By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
