But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
