Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
