you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
