You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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