i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
