WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Randomize
