I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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