Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just had sex bonerless
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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