every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
