I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
