In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
