"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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