Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
