dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
